#15. Walter Worthington Wagstaff III
(Wow, halfway there!)
Special Agent Walter Worthington Wagstaff, the third, works for the FBI, specialising in the bizarre, obscure cases that most other agents strive to avoid. The common joke among his co-workers, however, is that Wagstaff himself is weirder than anything he investigates. He is enormously arrogant, and has a reputation for oddball behaviour. He has a compulsive need to record his own monologues on a Dictaphone, and is deathly afraid of pain, dirt, and physical human contact of any kind. He has an inexplicable addiction to lollipops. He may or may not be a closet transvestite. But despite his various quirks, Agent Wagstaff remains a dogged investigator who does not stop until a case is solved, and always gets his man.
Currently, Wagstaff is embroiled in what could be his strangest case yet. A highly-advanced, top secret piece of alien weaponry, previously in the possession of the government, has gone missing. It is, for lack of a better description, an alien tooth. Attaching itself within the mouth of its human host, it can then take control of their bodies and influence their minds, opening up new neural pathways to turn even the most unassuming of hosts into a deadly killing machine. It is believed that a highly decorated FBI agent was responsible for the theft of the weapon, codenamed Bluetooth (because it’s blue, nothing to do with the phone thing). But when said agent turns up dead and toothless, the case gets a lot more complicated. Anyone out there could be the host by now. But Wagstaff is on the case, and he will not stop until Bluetooth is back in government custody where it belongs! Once he stops vomiting over the sight of blood at the last crime scene…